and i guess i still need you around.
listen to things i'll never tell anyone else.
i could see that you've been trying,
even though it was i who crushed your wasted heart with words so harsh.
to know that you'd take the first step to find me back, i'm not so lost afterall.
this time round, i really want you to stay.
so maybe, i ought to try a little harder.
thanks. you came just in time again. ((:

i hope i won't screw things up now.
really glad for the girls in my life.
always there and giving.
people whom i've failed but gave me chances.
who still watch my back and hear my cries.
deeply loved and appreciated.

i guess i'm gonna give the hockey game a miss.
SORRY LUHH, really very sorry.
i had a real bad headache from the beer.
maybe partly dued to my mood too, i'm more susceptible to be drunk.
but i wasn't gone okay.
just that my head hurts alot.
=/

shall go out with my parents later.
family bonding time.
i think my sis saw something she shouldn't.
-.-''
she'd better keep her mouth shut and not tell anyone.


small, simple, safe price.
rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
this is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
and i am not afraid to die.
i'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
i want the pain of payment.
what's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts.
much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
would you be my little cut?
would you be my thousand fucks?
and make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
to fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts.
my sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
i'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart.
love is not like anything.
especially a fucking knife.

- evan